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September 30, 2008
Your New President
September 26, 2008
Financial Crisis
September 24, 2008
The Fungus Among Us
A long but interesting exploration of how fungus can save the world.
Wait For Her To Get Rolling
September 23, 2008
Careful Kids, This Scam Is Going Around
Be wary if this shows up in your inbox:
"Dear American:
I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude.
I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you.
I am working with Mr. Phil Gram, lobbyist for UBS, who will be my replacement as Ministry of the Treasury in January. As a Senator, you may know him as the leader of the American banking deregulation movement in the 1990s. This transactin is 100% safe.
This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check. We need the funds as quickly as possible. We cannot directly transfer these funds in the names of our close friends because we are constantly under surveillance. My family lawyer advised me that I should look for a reliable and trustworthy person who will act as a next of kin so the funds can be transferred.
Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to wallstreetbailout@treasury.gov so that we may transfer your commission for this transaction. After I receive that information, I will respond with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect the funds.
Yours Faithfully Minister of Treasury Paulson"
Acupuncture
September 22, 2008
$700 Billion Clusterfuck
Maybe, just maybe, a $700 billion gift to the banking industry, unreviewable by any court and designed by the former CEO of Goldman Sachs is a bad idea. Buried in this $700 billion bailout proposal sits this gem:
"Decisions by the Secretary pursuant to the authority of this Act are non-reviewable and committed to agency discretion, and may not be reviewed by any court of law or any administrative agency."I swear to god America, if you accept this nonsense, you and I are totally never going bowling again.
I don't care if the media tells you this bailout plan prevents satan himself from smiting your freshly born, doe-eyed child with an ethereal hammer of damnation -- if you're willing to buy into this load of epic horse-shit fed to you by this dysfunctional and corrupt administration, you deserve an eternity of watching German David Hasselhoff concerts with a rhinoceros nibbling at your genitals.
The Army Of The Republic
I'm currently reading Stuart Archer Cohen's The Army Of The Republic, which imagines a complete and total fantasy world where corporations essentially run the United States Government, and use vast networks of disinformation and propaganda to keep the general populace stupid, obedient, and patriotic. I know, it sounds really far fetched.
It's an interesting book, in that it tackles the nature of violent revolution. A major corporation has started privatizing the nation's water supply (a la Bolivia) and the result is a massive network of fractured political activism (a la Seattle 1999) which varies from extremist groups ready to assassinate CEOs on the street, to groups who'd prefer simply using protest power to reclaim a government of and by the people.
It's a world where you can barely tell the difference between a city cop and a privatized corporate mercenary ( a la Halliburton). A world where government and corporate interests have fused into one relentless cultural pathogen that begins to use the same trademark tactics (murdering activists, spying on American citizens) that ultimately pop up in any country where profit-driven fascism is allowed to be the primary driving ethos (a la Chile).
As this Onion AV review hints at, if the novel has a problem, it's that the characters feel a little plastic and humorless. There's a ham-fisted attempt to make you identify with the nation's elite, but you wind up ultimately unconvinced that these characters are any more than set dressing for revolutionaries to play among and between. Still, the point gets across, but maybe only if Cohen is preaching to the choir (in this case a progressive middle-classer like myself, who has spent the last ten years writing about telecom, and watching AT&T and Verizon essentially purchase the U.S. Government to thunderous applause by a mindless populace):
"In many ways, Army is exactly the kind of book it promises to be. There's a lot of venom toward greed, the mainstream media, and the co-option of civil rights, and most of that venom is delivered by a series of interchangeable talking heads. The points are often well-made, but rhetoric alone isn't enough. Cohen's writing is humorless and strident, but at times, he rises above his debate points in showing the desperation and loneliness of the activists, and their increasing paranoia. Most importantly, Sands' uncertainty about his place in the political machine and his awakening conscience build to a surprisingly moving conclusion. It's an argument that works better than a thousand speeches."One part Che, two parts chai latte. Worth a look if your nightstand is dry and you've ever wanted to hurl a molotov cocktail at your HMO.
September 19, 2008
The Internet
Ah, the Internet. For some reason, this wouldn't be funny to me without the music.
Oh Sarah
I personally watched both planes hit from midtown, and I still think she's funny. Maybe I just think she's cute. I don't know, I'm so conflicted.
Oh No, (So And So) Ran (Such And Such) Political Ad
I'm a good sport when it comes to politics. Up and until a certain limit. My limits pretty clearly rub up against the foundation of the nonsense known as political ADVERTISEMENTS, at which time I feel like any sane, intelligent person should realize that whatever is being plattered is most certainly refined bullshit being presented in highly digestible form by an ivy league-er with a doctorate or masters in -- refined bullshit.
It's simply not high art. It doesn't deserve equal analysis.
The more I see people whining about political ads, the more I start to wonder if the type of person who's seriously impacted by ANY political ad is really just completely insane and/or bordering on mentally retarded. No offense to the mentally retarded, given I'd honestly much rather spend the day with their honest and kind interpretation of American reality than the vast majority of this nation's voters.
What I'm saying is the analysis of the impact and/or morality of these ads kind of pointless, since you're talking about pure mathematical entropy, really.
Will idiot A be swayed by Lie C? We have no idea! Let's analyze this further! Will an idiot in Ohio, already a painful victim of Reagan's decade old "trickle down economics" marketing myth, be futher impacted by Lie F, which panders to his inherent racism, or lie D, which pretends to sympathize with his blue collar difficulties?
Who knows? It's utter, and complete bullshit, from the advent of the advertisement, to the reaction of this nation's idiot army, to the post-advertisement political analysis, to ultimately the polling, which tracks the jerking. lethargic head movement's of the nation's intellectually stunted, as their glazed, lobotomized eyes drift from one inane, politically superficial firework to the next.
You're almost better served trying to predict the trajectory of a leaf as it falls from a tree (how lamely Zen of me).
I guess what I'm saying is don't drink pale ale and blog about politics. And in the words of the now-deceased George Carlin, it's all bullshit. And it's all bad for you.
No Heroics
Comic scribe Warren Ellis posts about this new superhero based comedy on now in the UK.
"Also, it features a doorman whose superpower is summoning monkeys. Beat that."
Smoke 'Em If You Got 'Em, Mommy
September 17, 2008
It Hurts
One candidate can't use e-mail.
The other thinks using Yahoo webmail for official Alaska State business is a good idea.
All while we spend a trillion in taxpayer money to bail out a bunch of incompetent executives whose schemes caused the entire U.S. economy to go titsup, while absolutely nobody gets any blame whatsoever. Particularly not the guy who decided it would be a good idea to put lobbyists in control of nearly every major U.S. regulatory authority.
Next up, we elect an Alaskan soccer mom with the IQ of a walnut to lead the nation.
God (were I to believe in such) fucking help us all.
This entire country is like a really horrible novel.
Maybe I'd see it was a really great novel, if I were sure it's all fiction.
Dancing
Where the Hell is Matt? (2008) from Matthew Harding on Vimeo.
This is really worth watching just to wait for the North Korean one.
September 12, 2008
Go get some, Chris Matthews
Chris Matthews usually strikes me as the worst sort of cable news blowhard, but it's difficult to hit this particular point out of the park any harder than he does here. The only problem being that courage to call out the truth in hindsight is all too easy for pseudo-journalism blowhards. These are the kind of statements people should be making in the moment, regardless of the kickback and regardless of the impact on potential advertising revenue. It's the fact that Matthews wasn't making these statements when they were needed that highlights the failure of modern American "journalism."
1999
Well, they did correctly predict the music would suck.
September 11, 2008
Natalie Shau
A full gallery here.
People Need Hobbies I Guess
September 10, 2008
Shit. Even Jason Bourne Thinks Sarah Palin Is A Tool
"It's like a really bad Disney movie."
September 09, 2008
Appealing Daintiness Is Assured
Apple Love
I think technology journalists should stop pretending to be brand objective and just sexually consummate their relationship with Apple Corporation.
The "Free Market"
Just curious. Is this an example of the "free market" at work?
The U.S. House of Representatives is discussing an auto industry request to set in motion at least $25 billion in government-backed loans to help beleaguered U.S. manufacturers retool plants to make more efficient cars and trucks, Majority Leader Steny Hoyer said on Tuesday.In other words, automakers now want government funds to upgrade their plants to produce the energy efficient vehicles they should have been producing for decades, but didn't want to.
Is this their beloved free market at work?
U.S. Democrats on Tuesday criticized the multimillion-dollar pay packages awarded to the former chief executives of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac at a time when taxpayers could foot a massive bill for the companies' bailout. In a joint letter to Fannie and Freddie's regulator, senators Charles Schumer of New York and Jack Reed of Rhode Island said the combined pay and bonus packages of about $24 million should be revised.In other words, using taxpayer funds to prop up companies whose greasy math catches up with them, then using additional taxpayer funds to ensure incompetent CEOs will be paid ridiculous severance packages.
I'm so confused. I thought all these free market fans believed in no-government-involvement industry Darwinism. A wild jungle of open and robust competition where Government does little more than protect our borders from terrorists and evil Mexicans, but leaves industry completely alone to be, well, TOTALLY AWESOME.
Yet here we learn that government involvement is suddenly a-ok as-so-long as it involves throwing taxpayer dollars at companies should they fuck up on an epic scale. The same taxpayer dollars that must never, ever be spent on human beings and infrastructure, because that's just stupid and evil. Spending that same money on bombs is ok.
This "free market" philosophy is just so gosh darned complicated. I mean golly, you almost get the impression that people who yammer ceaselessly about the free market, and worship dutifully at the altar of Milton Friedman are really just completely and epically full of shit, and really just want government's ONLY role to be ensuring that the nation's wealthiest get rich and stay that way.
I mean, one might just get the impression that a certain class decided to dress up greed as a sophisticated ethos, and their own welfare as a national security concern. But that would mean the infrastructure of this country is rotten, and that's simply just not possible -- because we're a shining beacon of righteousness in the universe.
I must have missed something. Maybe I need to re-read an Ayn Rand novel.
September 07, 2008
America Is An Intellectual God
This is an ad for a new show on Fox. The entire premise revolves around random shitheads trying to make their way through a massive Styrofoam wall. I was worried that we were continuing a several generation devolution into lobotomized corn syrup gobbling vegetables, but now I feel much better.
September 05, 2008
Amy Goodman On American Freedom
"I was at the Xcel Center on the convention floor, interviewing delegates. I had just made it to the Minnesota delegation when I got a call on my cell phone with news that Sharif and Nicole were being bloody arrested, in every sense. Filmmaker Rick Rowley of Big Noise Films and I raced on foot to the scene. Out of breath, we arrived at the parking lot. I went up to the line of riot police and asked to speak to a commanding officer, saying that they had arrested accredited journalists.Within seconds, they grabbed me, pulled me behind the police line and forcibly twisted my arms behind my back and handcuffed me, the rigid plastic cuffs digging into my wrists. I saw Sharif, his arm bloody, his credentials hanging from his neck. I repeated we were accredited journalists, whereupon a Secret Service agent came over and ripped my convention credential from my neck. I was taken to the St. Paul police garage where cages were set up for protesters. I was charged with obstruction of a peace officer. Nicole and Sharif were taken to jail, facing riot charges."
From Alternet.
Sveto Tekskty
I'm somewhat digging the work of Sveto Teksty aka Hory Ma aka the "Painter of Light." He's not to be confused with the irascible counter-culture hero and violent revolutionary Thomas Kincaide, who trademarked the "painter of light" phrase because he's just that edgy.
Asaf Hanuka
September 04, 2008
Bacon?
So Incredibly Full Of Shit
September 03, 2008
Ah, America
Sheople
September 02, 2008
Useful Skills For The Apocalypse
Aww. There's nothing quite like a father's love. In this case, teaching your 11-year-old daughter to strip and re-assemble an AR-15. That should come in handy for when the crazy people take over. Oh, wait.