Kansas Periodic Table
You've got anti-evolution dimwits running unopposed for education positions in that state.
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May 23, 2007
May 21, 2007
Why The Pentagon Banned YouTube
No wonder the Pentagon doesn't want troops posting to YouTube,.
May 15, 2007
Ezra Cooley: Around the World On a Horse
27-year-old Californian Ezra Cooley is riding his horse(s) around the world and rode down my street this week. He estimates his journey is going to take him around eight years.
"The worst part is the cars. People don't know how to drive," he tells the local paper.
His journal is here.
Alberto Seveso
More work here
Full BBC Doc On Scientology
This week a video was distributed (by Scientologists) of a BBC reporter going apeshit on a Scientology rep, but the clip offered no context to how batshit crazy Scientologists are, or how much more screaming at they probably deserve.
They are, and will always be, a fantastically brilliant con-artist enterprise whose primary purpose is to sell science-fiction nonsense philosophy and training to gullible people who desire easy answers -- while enjoying tax exempt status here in the United States.
They've acheived truly epic douchebaggery with the way their lawyers and security gestapo attack anyone who points this out. Also like any good cult, they need to isolate members from their families out of fear that one of them may try to breach the wall of delusion with common fucking sense.
This video is part one of three, and unfortunately the sound levels were borked by the kids who did the painfully obnoxious video lead in. Links to parts two and three.
May 14, 2007
Ryan Church
City Chase by Ryan Church
Stoned Cop Calls 911
Snippet of a 911 audio transcript recorded after a Michigan police officer made some confiscated pot brownies with his wife, and called 911 because he thought they were dying:
Sanchez:I think I'm having an overdose. and so is my wife.
911: Overdose of what?
Sanchez: Marijuana...
Sanchez: We made brownies. and I think we're dead. I really do...
Sanchez: Time is going by really, really, really slow...
Sanchez: What's the score in the Red Wings game?
911: I've got no clue, i don't watch the Red Wings.
Sanchez: I just wanted to make sure this isn't some kind of hallucination I'm having.
Audio of the call here.
May 11, 2007
Kazuhiko Nakamura
More Kazuhiko Nakamura, just because I think he's brilliant.
Ad Hominem Attack
I keep noticing two things about people who complain about "ad hominem attacks" when discussing things online.
I have no salient stats to support this because I'm totally off the hook -- wildly making an ad hominem attack on people who hate ad hominem attacks. I just know I've never seen the phrase used in conversation by a non-shitheel.
The phrase does have legitimate meaning in debate, but so did "bias" at one point. Both terms have since been hijacked by lazy thinkers to dismiss observations they have no substantive response for.
"Ad Hominem Attack" complaints are an early warning you should lower your expectations and caloric expenditure during a discussion. Much like the word "proactive" was when I worked in Manhattan in the 90's in IT middle management.
It's ok if you have no idea what I'm talking about. Just remember what I said, and take a mental note the next time you see someone in a forum whining about ad hominem attacks. If the guy or girl who complained isn't a total gibbering, self-important prattle jockey, I'll gladly refund your money.
Biased, proactive ad hominem attacks ahoy.
May 10, 2007
TSA Liquid Ban: Three Ounces of Idiocy
I just got back from the drug store, where I spent my time buying obnoxiously cute travel hygiene products smaller than three ounces -- in order to adhere to this idiotic new TSA liquid ban when I fly to Europe later this month.
The liquid ban was put in place because of an alleged terrorism plot to blow up UK airplanes by mixing hydrogen peroxide and other liquids. Scientists have debunked the threat of terrorists mixing explosive "piranha bath" in flight. It's just not plausible.
Now on top of that, the terrorism case that spawned the rule change has turned out to be bunk.
You may also find this entertaining.
The Gap: For Kids, By Kids
Gap Unveils New 'For Kids By Kids' Clothing Line (via)
That GAP spokesman reminds me of every PR guy I've ever met.
Tom Delay Teaching Ethics Seminar
Tom Delay is teaching an ethics seminar.
I thought propagandists handing out journalism ethics awards was bad.
The Extensys 4000
90% of women prefer a bigger penis, the Extensys Labs website tells us. Their solution? I think the photos tell the tale. The testimonials indicate $200 self mutilation is the path to sexual mastery and spiritual utopia. I have a very full weekend planned that involves this device and some Altovis -- after which I'm fairly certain people will like me more.
May 09, 2007
Baby Versus Cobra
Go baby! Go!
It's actually a rite of passage in the village of Kasimkota, in the state of Andhra Pradesh -- in India. The cobra has had its fangs removed and its mouth sewn shut, which frankly to me doesn't seem very sportsman like.
The Mechanical Man Of The Future
A syndicated article from 1928 that warns mankind of the impending arrival of robots, who'll apparently help us and attempt to crush our esophaguses in equal measure:
"The mechanical man, brazen-lunged creature of dreadful portent is among us! A few years from now you may rub elbows with him in the subway, turn out in the street to let him pass upon his ruthless way, or even, if you are a malefactor, find yourself pinioned in his grip of cold steel and compelled with unreasoning inflexibility toward a place of confinement.
What can the mechanical man do? Plenty! He can walk, and he can talk. He can stand, sit, bow, and otherwise comport himself after the fashion of a human being. But he can do more than that. He can shake hands and breathe, telephone, operate practically any electrical device, and perform any number of duties advantageous to mankind."
Ha! Fooled them. It's 2007, our greatest robot inventions struggle to vacuum properly, and we're busy debating evolution.
May 08, 2007
Chuck Palahniuk: Rant
I'm about half way through Chunk Palahniuk's new novel, Rant. It's filled with the typically crunchy nuggets of Palahniuk wisdom.
"After a good-looking boy gives you rabies two, maybe three times, you'll settle down and marry someone less exciting for the rest of your life."However I'm totally uninterested in one of the book's central concepts: that there's this secret game played on American highways where groups of four spend their nights slamming into others on the nation's highways in some complicated version of tag.
It's a bit of a "fight club" retread that just tries too hard.
It's strange, because I was actually along for the ride earlier in the book, when Chuck was trying to sell me on a road tar chewing half-insane fuck-jedi of a protagonist with a superhuman sense of smell, who submits himself to animal and insect bites for pleasure (black widow venom helps with erections, you know) and wanders the world infecting others with rabies.
Go figure.
I'm teetering toward using words like gimmick, but I feel like he's about to throw me a curve ball, so I'm waiting patiently with the read. I tend to agree with this guy who notes that it seems like Chuck might be trying just a little too hard "to out-Palahniuk himself".
Then again, being a novel critic is easy.
The novel's promotional website is worth a look. Thus far, I'd say Survivor is a much better read if you're looking for something new. Obviously fans of Thomas Kincaide related fiction -- or those who enjoy books with cats as central characters -- probably need not apply.
Supernova
"This was a truly monstrous explosion, a hundred times more energetic than a typical supernova," said Smith, who led a team of astronomers from UC Berkeley and the University of Texas. "That means the star that exploded might have been as massive as a star can get, about 150 times that of our sun. We've never seen that before."link.
Um...
Notice anything really stupid in this picture?
May 07, 2007
Chain Reactions
Also see this, or this, or of course any of the work by Rube Goldberg.
Then of course Honda did an ad along the same vein which I also think Goldberg had a hand in.
Greensburg Tornado
Aerial views of Greensburg, Kansas's visit with the F5 from here.
18,000 Naked Mexicans
Photographer Spencer Tunick keeps doing his mass nudity schtick.
May 04, 2007
Walmart Vs. Nuns
Walmart feels threatened by nuns.
Help Me, Kitt
The Foundation For Law And Government isn't what it used to be.
May 03, 2007
Patricia Smith
Went to see Patricia Smith read poetry last night. I was interested at first because, I'm ashamed to say, I only knew her as the Boston Globe journalist busted for fabricating quotes from people who didn't exist back in 1998.
In her final apology column in the Boston Globe, she wrote: "As anyone who's ever touched a newspaper knows, that's one of the cardinal sins of journalism: Thou shall not fabricate. No exceptions. No excuses."
Uh, yeah. It's kind of bad.
Unlike the other major disgraced journalist New Republic writer Stephen Glass, I don't think she got her own movie. I think there might be a difference between them in regards to lying for ego or lying for social change, but I'm not enthusiastic enough to make the point.
I guess the idiot part of us assumes people who go through something like this live out the rest of their lives in some concrete bunker of shame -- huddled in a fetal position until either death or our gracious forgiveness (for we are all clearly above chronic mistake making ourselves) overtakes them.
For some, that's true. Disgraced Chicago Tribune journalist Bob Greene "has been reduced to hiding out in his condominium and carting around his old work paraphernalia stuffed into his briefcase, including keepsakes and clips, to remind him of the life he used to have" says this website.
Fuck that, says Patricia Smith.
An unethical journalist, but an absolutely fantastic poet. Her stuff last night simply knocked me out.
Integrity, Thy Name Is Harry McCracken
Harry McCracken, despite having a name that seems to belong in a children's fable, I salute you.
"Award-winning Editor-in-Chief Harry McCracken of PC World resigned Tuesday over disagreements with the magazine's publisher regarding stories critical of advertisers, according to sources.Apple has one of the most powerful and effective public relations departments in the industry. They've somehow coated that company in this glossy air of untouchable techno-divinity, despite their fair share of skullduggery. If they joined forces with Verizon's lobbyists and were given a respectible budget, they could sell the public on aardvark ass as a cancer cure.McCracken, reached Wednesday evening, confirmed that he resigned after 12 years at the magazine and 16 years at publisher International Data Group, over disagreements with management. He declined to comment on the nature of those disagreements.
But three sources, who spoke on the condition of anonymity, told CNET News.com that McCracken informed staffers in an afternoon meeting Wednesday that he decided to resign because Colin Crawford, senior vice president, online, at IDG Communications, was pressuring him to avoid stories that were critical of major advertisers."
Franchise Reform and My Lazy Fellow Tech-Journalists
Failing to get laws passed on the federal level, the major phone providers are currently spending hundreds of millions of dollars to lobby state lawmakers to pass laws that strip your town of its eminent domain rights, kill your local public access TV channels, legalize deployment of broadband service to only the most affluent neighborhoods, and strip your town of all authority to punish ISPs or cable providers when they screw up.
One lawmaker says she counted 47 AT&T lobbyists at one point following her around.
Not only that, Verizon & AT&T are using completely artificial consumer advocacy groups to spread propaganda via the nation's media. The well is deep here for anyone who who wants to go swimming. The official line is that their proposed law changes will result in competitive TV & broadband utopia. It's a lie.
I've been following and writing about this stuff on the side for three years or more, and there just is no real objective data that suggests this baby bell "reform" does anything other than please investors and increase returns on their investments at the cost of consumer protections. I wrote something about this recently that was picked up by the Free Press (please read that before continuing, if you give a shit).
For whatever reason the absolute sodomy of the public by major phone providers to
lobotomized thunderous applause -- I don't know -- it seems important to me. But....
The public and other writers couldn't be more fucking bored by it. It's everything they hate: the risk of advertiser or partisan reader outrage; confusing political doubletalk that requires patient deciphering; a desire to challenge the cultural meme that unbridled profit at any cost results in utopia; no immediate reward from a readership that can't be bothered to think.
I mean, there's hit generating iPhone stories to write, after all.
When I discuss it at Broadband Reports it's as if I'm suddenly an 85-year old grandparent, trying to explain compound interest to a crew of toddlers on a raging sugar high. It's impossible to make such issues sexy. They're annoyingly complicated and require an effort from your reader to meet you half way.
That's where the phone company PR departments come in, telling the public and journalists with god-sized bullhorns that these confusing bills simply give them dirt-cheap HBO. Meanwhile you've got consumer advocates trying to tell the public the truth, but they just don't have the funding to be heard over some of these multi-pronged PR assaults.
And it's across industries too of course; this isn't just a problem in telecom, though baby bell propagandists are the very best in the business.
They've dressed up greed and anti-consumerism as some sophisticated cultural ethos and peddled it to the public via a vast network of mouthpiece groups. Said groups, who represent a vast minority of the public, use partisan politics to get Conservative knee-jerk supporters to rally behind them. Last I checked, "avoiding getting screwed" was a bi-partisan issue, and I have no idea what kind of Conservative or Libertarian would support having your town's eminent domain rights stripped away, which is what most of these bills do.
This is an age where consumers don't even support consumer advocates. They support fake consumer advocate groups funded by massive corporations who tell them what to think.
Do a Google News search for "Franchise reform" (35 results), and you'll note the only people seriously talking about "franchise reform" right now are me (one guy on a budget working for a pro-consumer technology website) versus countless think tanks and political groups who've been paid by the phone companies (in one way or another) to push these bills.
Yes, the NAACP and NAD take significant funds from these companies in exchange for public support for issues they usually don't actually undertand.
The Heartland Institute is also listed in those results. They take money from big tobacco to try and tell the public that smoking health concerns are based on junk science. How is that done? By pretending they support smoker's rights. Anti-consumers posing as consumer advocates is the new black.
A blog search makes me feel marginally better, though you'll still note a lot of think tank PR, and that the awareness to the issue remains a local phenomenon (like in Lafayette, Louisiana, even if they get my name wrong).
Apathy has allowed the phone companies to pass this legislation in a dozen states last year. A dozen more states are currently on deck this year with Florida and Georgia bills all but signed. Small communities in Illinois and Ohio are fighting tooth and nail to preserve their eminent domain rights while the national tech media and most tech bloggers are busy giving full body massages to the latest startup.
In five years when public access TV is gone, deployment of next-gen services stops at 40% of the country (the most profitable parts), and cableTV or TelcoTV prices explode because we allowed the stripping of all consumer protections, hopefully fellow tech bloggers can step away from the construction of their altar to web 3.0 long enough to notice.
Just kidding: they'll pretend they were covering it all along. Lamenting that nothing was done sooner will be little more than a fashion statement. By then I may have made the transition to a professional gardening career out of disgust.
Sorry to disrupt the digg news orgy. I know that geeks staging no calorie revolutions over the right to discuss the piracy of high-definition DVD content takes precedence.
May 02, 2007
Vatican: Comedy Is Terrorism
The Vatican equates making very tame jokes about the pope to terrorism.
"This, too, is terrorism. It's terrorism to launch attacks on the Church," it said. "It's terrorism to stoke blind and irrational rage against someone who always speaks in the name of love, love for life and love for man."
Unless you're gay.
Dear Lord, Please Make The Sopranos Stop Sucking
"Season unfolding slowly, but remains fascinating" is the Sopranos headline at MSNBC.
I have no idea what alternate dimension writer Andy Dehnart stems from or what strange gurglings reside for language in his sector of the time-space continuum, but this season of the Sopranos is absolute feral garbage. A handful of hours left, and the writers are pushing plotlines about nursing homes and misbehaving teens.
At this point my girlfriend and I keep watching the series, but it's as if we're compelled to keep viewing out of some respect for the dead, not out of interest. By now characters like AJ and Tony's wife are so painfully god-damned annoying, I'm left feeling like nuclear oblivion might be a good Deus ex machina.
I don't watch much TV; HBO has generally been it because they've successfully avoided catering to the lowest common denominator. That seems to have changed.
They've cancelled Rome, Deadwood, Six Feet Under and Carnivale to bring viewers a show for consumer-culture idiots, about consumer-culture idiots (Entourage) and to turn their industry-changing mafia show into a C-grade lifetime movie about geriatrics gumming their way toward the inevitable end.
Unless this "surf noir" David Milch project is a hit, I think HBO's time is done.
Because it Happens to Digg, It's New(s)
HD-DVD cracked keys are not new.
Companies thinking they can control information is not new.
Take down requests are not new.
Websites fighting take down requests? Not new.
Users revolting against websites who do take down content is not new.
Even users filling a social networking news site's front-page with hissy-fit spew in reaction to injustice is not new.
Said website then buckling to pressure? Only new to marginally sentient beings like goldfish, and that's because they have three-second attention spans.
That said, Is there a point where every technologist in Silicon Valley everywhere no longer stops everything they're doing to engage in a colective multi-hour lingual orgy every time digg takes a shit?
I'm just asking.
May 01, 2007
Raven Blanket
Raven Blanket from Old-Picture.com, a great little resource (or time killer).
Tricky Duck Vaginas
Ducks Wage Genital Warfare is the headline over at LiveScience.
"Male waterfowl are especially unusual in that their phalluses vary greatly among different species in length, ranging from a half-inch to more than 15 inches long. They also display a remarkable level of diversity how elaborate they are, ranging from smooth to covered with spines and grooves.and
"After looking at the genitalia of a male duck, "I became immediately intrigued by what the female anatomy would look like to accommodate such a bizarre organ," said behavioral ecologist Patricia Brennan. Now Brennan and her colleagues unexpectedly find the vaginas of female waterfowl can be just as ornate as male genitalia, full of "dead ends" and other countermeasures that all seemed design to exclude the phallus."Why? The duck genders are engaged in a genital arms race to determine which sex gets to control reproduction.
BTW, if you have an HD set and get Discovery HD, you should be watching Planet Earth.
Tormentas Electricas
Las Tormentas electricas!